During this past week I have been kind of sitting on edge with things between me and Rich. We haven't really talked like normal since last Thursday and our communication was sort of faded during the last few days. Though I must say that we had been very hectic with our own schedules and finding the time to catch up with one another was very difficult.
Well, finally we were able to squeeze in a 45-minute phone call to say what's going on and see where we are with our work so far and how things are going with me and him last night--after a few days of not talking gave me the excitement to talk to him.
It turned out the week for him has been very busy with his job and everything going on at the same time. Busier than he anticipated. That's what happens when you work in sales and marketing. There's always something to do. Anyway, he got a promotion within the company that he works for and he seems to be very excited about it and looking forward to the many travels that he will be doing as a nature of the job he accepted. I said Congratulations and that I will take him out for a celebratory drink. So that's pretty much what has been keeping him occupied.
Well, mine was sort of busy and intense. Intense? Yes, it is because the fact that we haven't had the opportunity to catch up. That sort of bothered me a little bit. But, last night I explained that my week has been just as crazy as his, given that my boss wasn't in the office for the majority of this week. I further explained that it kind of sucked that there was no time for "us".
I am somewhat discombobulated with the fact that he felt uncomfortable with how things are going on between us. He felt that it was going faster than he anticipated. So he decided to take it slow and see where it leads us. Knowing me I said "That is perfectly fine by me." He's reasoning was that he just took this job and it will require him to travel a lot within the next two or three months and hanging out with me would be extremely challenging for him. Well, guess what my ass said to him:
Thanks for telling me how you feel about things and given your situation in your life and things between the two of us, it may be best that we re-arrange our priorities. You just accepted a job and whatever the nature of it is, you gotta do it; even though it means more traveling on your part. It is a job and it is your job--not mine. I would probably do the same thing if I was in your shoes. If your job is a priority, then prioritize it, and if you think traveling would be a burden for us to get together, then you will have to make a choice.
That is the beauty of dating is that if you meet someone, regardless of how much job you have in life, you will have to make time for that person. And again, job is a job. If you find it hard to find time to get together with me when/if you do your job, then I have to move on. The only time this could work is either you make the time or I deal with it. Unfortunately, I'm the type of person that likes to be around with somebody I enjoy especially when I'm dating someone. I, however, understand that there is a time to stop...or slow down.
At this point in my life I want to have a relationship, build a future, and raise a family. I want to be quite frank with you - but if you are not the person who can share the same interest at this point of your life, then I think it would be best that we stay as friends. Now, as friends, you know we still go out and do stuff together. But, do them with the intention that we are just friends and not as potential boyfriends. I hate to say this but the ball is in your court. I told you where I am in my life and what I want from you, and depending upon how you react to this we will move forward. But for now, we'll just gonna play everything by ear and at the same time be not exclusive. If you meet someone else along the way, that's great for you, and of course vice versa. If something happens beyond us being friends, then that would be wonderful. It's all good, otherwise.
I don't think he was well prepared for this discussion but he stood still and listened to me and then said:
By all means I'm not saying Goodbye or anything. I just like to take it slow and see where it leads. I don't think I'm ready for a one-on-one relationship yet at this time especially now that I have taken this job, which will require lots of traveling for the next two or three months. I don't want to lead you to anything that it's not there because I would feel very bad about it. However, I still want to do stuff with you--go see a movie, invite you for dinner, go here and there, etc. But I want to take it slow. Can we plan something this weekend? I'll call you.
I'm sitting there thinking what my reply would be so I said:
You are more than welcome to take your time getting to know me and see where your emotions takes you. Meanwhile, I have a life to live, a job to do, and goals to achieve. And again, if we get together and it goes beyond friends, then that's cool. If not, that's cool, too. You may call me this weekend and let me know. But, don't go out with me for pity sake. I'm fine with the way things are right now. I feel better that you told me how you feel with things and now at least I know where I stand. Definitely not going to hold this against you. I cannot drive your life to compensate what I want in life, if you are not willing to do it. I can only control myself, not others. Only you can control yourself. If I have time this weekend, I will go out with you. Otherwise, it'll be next time.
So that we have a closure to this discussion, how about I say that I'm glad to have met you and did those things together. They were certainly fun! If you are willing, we can stay connected via phone and face-to-face as seldom as possible. Again, I'm sorry that I came off too strong for you. Stronger than what you can handle. That's just me! I'm special. OK?
Don't stress about this tonight. You have a long day ahead of you so you could use a good night sleep. OK? I'll catch up with you later.
That's pretty much how the conversation went. Kind of intense, but I remained composed the whole time. No sign of disappointment, nor aggravation, nor coldheartedness. As far as I was concerned, I was clear with what I want from him and I told him how I feel. I'm known for speaking my thoughts freely and not hold back. I cannot stand having to hide my feelings and not tell anyone. I'm honest with myself and so with others. I'd rather tell you what and how I feel then fight myself over for not being honest.
Not sure how it's going to go on but I will keep making connections with folks (in fact I have back ups...LMAO!) and see it will take me. Dating, dating, dating...you gotta love it! Anyway, have a good weekend everyone!
Ciao!
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