180 degrees

During the last two weeks my ex boyfriend had been trying to re-connect with me. He has tried texting me, calling me and leaving me voice messages, and emailing me at work, and you know what hasn’t happened? I haven’t even tried or considered returning his attempts.

Not sure exactly what is motivating me to bounce his attempts off my shoulder just like that. Perhaps didn’t want to deal with any of his false and selfish statements, that often times goes around and around. And quite frankly it drives me nuts. Truly does.

Okay, maybe I’m being a little harsed to him and everything considering the fact that he called and left me a VM saying that he had been in the hospital recently due to a surgery (not exactly what it was) - but so far he hasn’t heard from me yet to say “Sorry to hear that. I hope you’re doing well!”. I’m quite sure he is fishing for some attention, attention that he long from me after nearly 4 years of separation.

We stayed as friends off and on - but we both go through the same roll of toilet paper (excuse me) that whenever we get together, a lot of trash throwing happen and I figure let go of that past and move on with the present time into the future. What he has been hoping for is another opportunity to be with me. Well, unfortunately, I decided to correct any mistakes I did in that relationship and be better for the next one. For some reason, I have no intention of getting back together to hopefully fill in what we lacked and make up for what we did. My life moved on and so with the rest of me.

Interestingly enough I have his initials tattooed on my left ankle, something to remind me of the person whom I dearly loved when I was young and the first guy I love for the first time. It’s quite surreal back then, but looking at it now I have matured enough to distinguish love and lust. Flesh satisfaction is what all there is for most relationship - but I believe that real love and passion comes with a greater chance for a long lasting relationship.

There is absolutely nothing greater than the ability to love someone freely, someone who can reciprocate that and someone who can help you keep it flowing…