Here it is almost two in the morning and I’m still wide awake - not a drop of a sense to fall asleep. Not really sure what’s going on but lately I’ve been having these series of sleepless nights. Every night I don’t look forward to not being able to comfortably drift and fall on into sleep.
Some nights though however can be blamed to caffeine I occasionally have after a good dinner hours before. I go the gym sometimes then come home get myself ridiculously full and that triggers me crave for caffeine. It helps though to get my metabolism going but lots of time it keeps me up and bouncy for hours until 4 in the morning, until whenever it wore out.
This time though I think it’s not caffeine. First of all, I didn’t have any coffee at all today (woot!). Normally I have coffee (Triple Grande Skim With No Whip White Mocha) from Starbucks EVERY MORNING but since I decided to eat healthy and slack a bit with sugar I rarely go there now. Sometimes on a hot weekend or when pay day comes I treat myself for a hot or cold drink from Starbucks. I don’t know … but it makes me feel good.
Again, it’s not the coffee tonight. I don’t know what it is really.
I think it’s a combination of so many things right now. Work mostly and family issues. I’m still trying to work out some family issues, which appears to be inconsistent throughout the last few months. I won’t discuss specific details but I think those problems my folks deal with at home will eventually see some light at the tunnel and hopefully they can live at peace.
Work is also a part of it. Too much going on at work that sometimes I just don’t want to go home and just keep on working. It’s bad, it’s really bad. I shouldn’t have to feel this way but I feel so much pressure at work, now that our meeting is becoming closer and closer. And, on top of that, I have my normal marketing, membership, and advertising stuff to stay on top of. I guess I miscalculated the amount of work it involves when I took the program development position, in a way that I get more experience under my belt but the amount of pressure that gets put on you is rather overwhelming.
I, too, look forward to some light at the end of the tunnel soon. Prognosis is not very likely. I can’t do anything - absolutely nothing. Perhaps I’m not yet convinced that this is what a Director is suppose to do. I wanted it so I got it. There is a turning back - but absolutely disastrous to my whole career when/if I decide to step down from my position. If I do, I couldn’t guarantee I would get it back or get another position like it. So the lesson is suck it up!
My horoscope today is yet on the spot again…
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Different strokes for different folks. Today, more people around you will differ in their beliefs from yours. Rather than clash with all of them, listen respectfully to their opinions. Then only if absolutely necessary, try explaining your position. Great day to expose yourself to other points of view.
Okay, I’m going to try again and fall asleep. Perhaps this time I’ll count 100 sheeps backwards…
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